


Accidental Dick Pic

by SamCyberCat



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future Fish, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 15:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10165652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamCyberCat/pseuds/SamCyberCat
Summary: One thing Sousuke is learning far too late is that if you're going to get drunk at the office party and send a picture of your dick to everyone on the work text group, then you should probably make sure that this doesn't include your boss.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bricker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bricker/gifts).



> I saw that Bricker had tagged this post with SeiSou and I just had to write it: http://brickerbeetle.tumblr.com/post/158060469882/reinventlou-someone-turn-this-into-a-fic-ill

When he got into the office that morning Sousuke knew that he wasn't ready to deal with Rin's smiling face. The aspirin hadn't quite kicked in yet and his head was still vaguely numb. How did Rin do it? It wasn't as if the guy never got drunk, but it seemed as if he'd been born with a resistance to hangovers.

Sousuke on the other hand had no such luck in that department.

He didn't need Rin to give him the update, because Sousuke had checked his phone when he'd gotten up. Albeit briefly, because a brief look was all he needed to see the many, many replies he'd gotten to that photo. Without a doubt every officer from one end of the district to the other was probably talking about Sousuke's dick and, while Sousuke didn't have a problem with his own dick, he could do without seeing so many opinions on it while his brain was still undergoing the slow process of waking up.

“It's not as if it's even a good shot,” Rin informed him, far too casually, as he looked at it on his own phone, “I mean you can tell what it is, but your hand was so shaky I'm surprised you even managed as well as you did. Aww man, you should have heard yourself last night, the guys were egging you on so much that I'm surprised you didn't stick it in the photocopier.”

“Well, I'm glad he didn't. Some of us need to use that thing,” Chigusa said. Sousuke had the decency to look sheepish as she walked past.

“They'll get over it. I mean it's not as if its the worst thing to happen at an office party,” assured Rin, “Some might even say it's the best.”

“Not now, Rin...” Sousuke muttered.

He wasn't usually this dismissive, especially not to Rin of all people, but right now he just wanted to sit his arse in a chair and get on with some work without anyone striking up a conversation with him about his dick. But then the world was rarely that kind to Sousuke. He hadn't even managed to walk over to his desk when the next voice called out.

“Yamazaki! In my office. Now.”

It was not a voice he could so easily disregard as he had done with Rin. Seijuro Mikoshiba. The Chief of Police for Samezuka. Sousuke's superior. Probably also in possession of a picture of Sousuke's dick...

“Oh shit, you didn't, did you?” Rin whispered, as Sousuke turned to head towards the office, “Sousuke... Everyone knows that when you send something to the work group that you untag him!”

Apparently drunken Sousuke did not know this and now almost-sober Sousuke was going to suffer the consequences. He made his way across to the office, trying to ignore the stares from everyone else as he went. Honestly, the police force was filled with some of the biggest gossip-mongers that Sousuke had ever met, though he supposed it came with the territory.

The image itself unwillingly floated into Sousuke's mind. It might have been blurry and terrible quality, but it was clear enough that it had been taken at work. In the exact room he was just about to leave. Last night was still drifting about his head in pieces, but Sousuke could vaguely remember the cheers of several people, Rin probably included, as they urged him on. Meanwhile, Seijuro had been absent for the evening, dealing with something that had come up at home. Looked like Sousuke had accidentally given him an update on how the party went.

Once he'd gotten through to Seijuro's office, Sousuke closed the door without being prompted. Partly because he knew Seijuro would tell him to anyway and partly because he just didn't want everyone next door to hear this. Although given how loud Seijuro could be there was a good chance that they'd hear regardless of if the door was open or closed.

“Take a seat,” Seijuro told him. He gestured to the chair on the other side of his desk.

“I know this probably doesn't look great,” Sousuke started, as he walked over and pulled out the chair, “And I know what you're going to say, about how we have a standard to maintain and all that. Whatever punishment you're going to dish out, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I've already learned my lesson. Right now if I never touch a can of Fosters again it'll be too soon and not just because it tastes like piss anyway.”

“Yamazaki, I think you're getting ahead of yourself,” Seijuro cut in, sounding... oddly calmer than usual, “I didn't call you in here to tell you off for being so bold.”

“You didn't?” said Sousuke, as he sat down, “Are you sure? I did send my dick to everyone in this building.”

“You... did?” Seijuro echoed. His eyes widened in surprise.

“Yeah. Everyone,” Sousuke clarified, “What did you think? That I'd just... sent it... to you?”

As that notion dawned on Sousuke, the bottom of his stomach suddenly wanted to drop out. Seijuro hadn't realised it was a group message. He'd thought that Sousuke only sent it to him. Which meant that he'd called Sousuke in here to talk about the implications of having sent such a thing just to him. Sousuke didn't know if he felt better or worse about that.

On the bright side, Seijuro looked just as awkward as he did. The expression was a strange one to see on his face, since Sousuke had only seen him look far too confident before now. Even when Seijuro was angry he was confident about it. But right now he looked as if he didn't know what to make of the situation. Sousuke couldn't blame him.

“Look...” Sousuke started.

“...You're right, it is highly inappropriate,” Seijuro said, before Sousuke had the chance to dig himself out of this hole, “But I know what office parties are like. You're a rowdy lot and that's exactly why I took all of you on. Things like this are bound to happen, but I as long as it doesn't get out to the rest of the world then it's harmless.”

“It looks like I only sent it to the work group, Chief,” replied Sousuke, “And I doubt my dick is so impressive that they're going to be writing home about it.”

“I don't know, it looked good, even if the photo was terrible,” Seijuro hummed. That sentence ranked far too high on the list of things Sousuke never expected to hear from his boss. And since it was obvious that he didn't know what to say in response, Seijuro went on to add, “Just don't let it happen again.”

“I won't, Chief,” Sousuke vowed.

“That's about it then. Get back to work, Yamazaki,” Seijuro concluded.

Having been dismissed, Sousuke got out of his seat and made to walk towards the door. But before he reached it another thought popped into his mind, one that was only going to nag at him if he didn't find out the answer now. And since at this point he'd already danced across thin ice anyway, he reckoned that one more inappropriate question wouldn't hurt.

“Hey, so what were you going to say when you thought it was something I'd sent just to you?” he asked.

Seijuro snorted and when Sousuke turned back to look at him the face that greeted him was one of mild amusement.

“I don't know, I thought you might be interested,” Seijuro replied.

“Interested?” Sousuke checked.

“If you need me to clarify that then you're not as on the ball as I thought you were, Yamazaki,” said Seijuro. Which Sousuke personally thought wasn't fair, because there had at least been some balls on that photo as well, thank you very much.

“I never said I wasn't,” Sousuke stated.

“In me or the rest of the building?” asked Seijuro. His sense of humour was terrible.

“Look, that photo might have been an accident, but I can send you a better one if you really want. And I won't send it to everyone else this time,” Sousuke replied.

“What happened to romance? In my day you went out on at least one date with someone before you showed them your genitals,” laughed Seijuro.

“You're one year older than me, Chief, so none of that 'my day' crap. Also, I'm offended that you think my dick isn't romantic,” said Sousuke. He wasn't at all offended. Despite himself, he was enjoying this too much.

“Sorry that I offended your dick, Yamazaki,” Seijuro said, “Is there any way that I can make it up to it?”

Sousuke shrugged; “That date might do the trick. If you're not busy tonight.”

“Sure, I'll meet you at nine. Since we'll both need time to get cleaned up after work,” replied Seijuro, “Is that all, Yamazaki?”

Sousuke thought about it for a moment. He wasn't even sure how what he had believed was him being brought in here to be told off for his drunken mistake had rapidly descended in arranging a date with the Chief of Police, most of it down to Sousuke's prompting. But if he was going to do this then he might as well go out with a bang.

“Not quite,” he said, “I mean I sent you mine, you it's only fair that you send me yours.”

He doubted that needed clarifying.

Seijuro stared at him for a moment, before he erupted into his usual hearty laughter. All was right with the world once more.

“Sure, sure! But unlike you I think I'll keep such a thing just between the two of us,” Seijuro replied, once he was done laughing, “Now get out of my office and do some actual work, Yamazaki.”

“Yes, Chief! Right away, Chief!”

...God, Sousuke suddenly wondered what their sex talk was going to be like. Hopefully they'd get to calling each other by their first names once they were out of work or else it was going to get weird.

As soon as he walked out of the office everyone else scattered away from the door and pretended to be getting on with work instead of trying to hear what was going on in there. Except for Rin, who had no shame and waited to ask for details as soon as Sousuke had closed the door behind him.

“So how did it go? I heard him laughing before you left, so that must mean it went well, yeah?” he asked.

“I think so,” answered Sousuke, “I mean I just got a date with him, so it went pretty well in my books.”

Rin stared from Sousuke to the door to Seijuro's office and back again, clearly unable to believe what he was hearing. There was a long pause before he spoke next, but when he did it was with the total confidence that Sousuke had come to expect from Rin.

“...Do you think I should send him a photo of mine then?”


End file.
